2008-03-30

Let there be laughter

Is a laugh without a smile still a laugh?

Bi-curiosity killed the tomcat

I was out last Friday with my anthropologist soulmates Li & Fri (liking those abbreviations). Fri spent the night being a successful genderfucker. Li spent the night trying. Also, Li told me she thought I should hook up with "a man who sleeps with men". And I don't know why I thought it somewhat of a compliment. Anyway, we discussed the term "bi-curious" and how utterly lame a concept it is.

"Hello! I have a first name, a middle name and a last name. I sometimes wear blue jeans. I breathe air, I eat three or four times a day. I appreciate music, I have seen the ocean. Johnny Depp is a good actor. And yeah, I'm bi-curious. Who am I?"

Who the fuck are you not!?

I know. I am being ethnocentric. And generally lost. But help me here, who can honestly say they're not curious? Who? And what boring life they must lead!

Curiosity is the essence of creativity. An equivalent to lust, I dare say. You don't have to act according to curiosity, but you are nothing without it. You feel nothing. Is the cheese-hater not curious about what makes people eat so much cheese?

That was a bad example. But I really love cheese. And I think bi-curious might be a redundant word. Is there going to be a video today?

2008-03-28

When Friday is the new Sunday.

Sometimes something is so right it's almost painful. Sometimes something could have been brilliant, but is slightly off, that's painful as well.

Lolita and I discussed the difference between being pretentious and arrogant. I love arrogance, but I cannot stand pretentious people. It might sound like a Catch 22, but it really isn't. There is a clear difference between the two. There is one thing to pretend you are entitled to the contempt you are feeling, another one entirely to just feel it.

I think the reason for the difference is because a pretentious person is often lacking self-confidence, but is full of self-esteem. Whereas the arrogant person often is very self-confident, but lacks self-esteem. Pretentious people think they are worth more than others, they just don't have the confidence to show it in a good and straightforward way like the arrogant bastard next to them. That makes them sneaky, they sneak around with their superiority and hold it behind their backs and laugh whenever they think you're not looking. I don't like sneaky people. The arrogant laughs in your face, then cries behind your back.

Lets conclude this post with a video of the man that made me fall in love with the arrogant attitude, he is its master. He will always be its master.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdrc2YT2ByI

2008-03-27

(Better!)

An hour later, tiny and Lolly came by with cookies, and my day was suddenly bright and sunny. (It was actually sunny, but I hadn't noticed, having covered my window all day.)

Thank you, friends. I am much better now.

It takes Oddballs.

Hungover.

Yesterday was party day. Lolita and Tiny were at my place and I drank red wine, white wine and vodka until I started puking uncontrollably. Tiny and Lolita went home. I continued vomiting. Today I am very weak and have been undergoing a strict diet of water and porridge. It's four in the afternoon and I'm still not quite out of bed.

There is some kind of construction work going on on this building. I think they're cleaning the facade. This was fortuitous yesterday night, as my room was suddenly equipped with a giant party-balcony right outside the window. It was a bit tricky to climb over there, with the gap between my window and the scaffold, and the drunkeness to maneuver. I do live on the second floor, after all. But well there we could happily dance to this awesome youtube remix and blow Marlboro smoke into the cold night air. I think the smoking was what killed the party. And this whole day. I am a sensitive soul and tobacco is too strong a drug for me.

Anyway, as I lay in my bed this morning, feeling ill, with the blinds down, there was something of a circus going on outside my window. Around nine, it sounded like a man was sitting on the scaffold, singing. He sang for a long time and it wasn't particularly good, but it was ambitious. It made me happy. Also, random conversations between the construction workers:

- Have you ever been fishing salmon trout?
- (pause) No.
- Have you ever eaten salmon trout?
- (silence)

Now the construction workers have gone for the day, but someone on third floor is playing a saxophone. I am entertained, but still not well. I don't know what to do with myself.

Oh, I know what you're thinking - Get your own goddamn blog to pollute!

I will not.

2008-03-25

So anyway...

I know you all hate me, now that I've brought Jesus to the show. So I thought I'd make up for it by devoting this post either to parenting or pirates. Parenting because the topic was discussed this last weekend, à propos me not planning on it. I had lots of bad excuses, the end of the world being one, and my father pointed out that ends of the world usually makes people reproduce at an alarming rate. I countered that with claiming "I'm not mainstream", which is an old lie. Over to pirates. Remember we were going to produce a book of short stories? And that all the stories would have to be about pirates? Well, I've started writing on mine. Just thought I'd warn you. It's going to be awesome. No pirates in it yet. That's a problem.

Well, that was it. Not going to elaborate on either topic.

I have two bad videos for you. The pirate one is worth watching. The parenting, of course, is not.



2008-03-22

Bugs breathe armageddon.

Ape’s kitchen is growing refrigerators. Mine is growing insects. It’s really very sad. It gives me no hope for the future. I opened this brand new package of crisp bread. The pieces of bread were tightly packed together and I had to pull them out. Two pieces finally popped out, together with - and this is where sadness begins - two bugs. Two tiny, dark brown bugs, with nothing better to do than to spoil my breakfast experience with their appearance. I pulled out some more pieces of the crisp bread and looked in the package. There were at least two more bugs down there. And something that looked like bug poo. No eggs. I sighed deeply and considered burning down the whole kitchen.

The heavy sigh must’ve boosted my endorphin supply (oxygen is ace) and I suddenly found myself happily eating the bug-infested bread instead of burning down the house. I watched out for more bugs but saw none. Maybe I ate one or two. I hope they don’t thrive in stomachs, too. I later felt somewhat disgusted with myself and had to throw the rest of the bread away. I talked about it with christian boy next door, with whom I share cupboard. He quickly said that he had nothing old lying about in his part of the cupboard (I just know that I keep my onions cool, in the fridge, while he doesn’t). However, minutes later he tells me the very same thing happened to him in his old apartment. Yeah. I just need someone to blame that isn’t me.

I’m not a sensitive person. I ate bug bread. But it’s something about bugs in food that is so doomsday. Just like when we had a rat in the café in Paris. I can’t take it. And I can. But I don’t like it. I don’t like how they tell me that the world is going under and that vermin is finally going to win against humans. I feel so small.

Suddenly, I am the vermin.

2008-03-21

Kristus hänger på korset och jag...

...jag har trasiga händer. Jag har städat en massa. En massa timmar. En massa vatten. Inte stigmata. Ibland känner jag mig tacksam att han tog på sig all vår skuld, Jesus. Men oftast inte. Åh, dessa arma martyrer. Dessa själviska jävla människor som tror att att allt är så enkelt. Men det är inte enkelt. Det som är sjävklart för dig är inte självklart för mig.

Martyrer är sådana människor som går runt och tycker att det är viktigt att man har en kaffebryggare på jobbet. Ja, så går kaffebryggaren sönder, och så mår martyren jättedåligt, för i hennes värld måste man ha en kaffebryggare på jobbet. Hon mår dåligt över bristen på kaffebryggare, men mest mår hon dåligt av att ingen bryr sig om att köpa en ny kaffebryggare. Hon tror sig nämligen veta att alla vill ha en kaffebryggare på jobbet. Hon har tejpat upp en insamlingslista också, som ingen skrivit på. Så till sist ger hon upp och går, bitter men sjukt bestämd, till affären och köper en kaffebryggare och ställer i personalrummet. Sådärja, nu mår jag bra. Lite fattigare, men jävlar så bra jag mår. Är inte alla glada nu, när jag har offrat mig och köpt en kaffebryggare till er?

Jag tycker Jesus gav upp för lätt. För fort. Hur gammal var han? 33? Knappt vuxen. Vi ska inte skylla allt på Judas. Inte skylla på den stora massan. Jesus gav upp. Jag säger inte att han gjorde fel, när han hängde där på korset och tog på sig allt det onda. Jag säger bara att jag inte tänker må så jävla dåligt över det.

Vi kanske var nöjda med att dricka te.

2008-03-17

Huliganer!


Bara i Jämtland mina damer, bara i Jämtland.

2008-03-16

This week on youtube, entry nr 100

So, since Mousse complained about the non-educativeness of my last entry, I decided to make this entry 10% more educative.

2008-03-08

Sigur Rós

Det var meningen att det skulle bli söndagsinlägget. Men jag kunde inte vänta.

2008-03-07

Super-ghey unicorn delight!

Unicorns being educative.