The Oddball way, or the highway.

Gick på promenad härom kvällen och fick syn på denna skylt. Idag tog jag med kameran.

Det är så härligt, att vissa saker måste märkas ut så tydligt, för att inte riskera att passera förbi obemärkta. Precis som vi. Ganska så jävla oansenliga, men pratar ständigt upp vår unicitet till tusen.

In English: We are pretentious.

It's dwarfs!

As some of you might be aware of, I do not like short people. It's not hate, not at all. No, it's just a general fright of the people who, for some reason, talk to my belly button instead of my face. I can't explain why. Exactly like I can't explain why I almost fainted when I watched Abctraqt donate blood a couple of years ago. I know it's good, even necessary, yet so goddamn unnatural. Just like midgets.

I don't think I've ever met a midget. But then, I've never donated blood either. So that's not it.

But I've been thinking lately. Yeah, or... the last hour or so. Anyway, I think the world needs more midgets. Seriously, they can do lots of stuff. With their tight little bodies, their even little fingers and their - in all likelihood - great will of showing the world how useful they actually are.

See, I have this antenna on the roof, and there's this sort of grapevine branch that has twisted itself around it and thus disturbs the transmission. Highly annoying. Sure, I could take out the old ladder, climb up there with a pair of scissors and put my life at risk with my heavy and impractical body swaying high up in the air.

OR

I could pay a midget to do the job for me.

Please visit this site if you doubt my theory: http://russiandwarfhamsters.tripod.com/ (Yeah, so I had some problems finding any reliable info on dwarf PEOPLE. This'll do.)

Hear my Confession and then be my Judge

Forgive me Oddballs for I have sinned, I have strayed from our accepting and wonderful flock and used my sense of Oddballness in other people’s presence. I have even gone so far as to repeatedly refer to someone besides Mousse as my Master, and on a regular basis insulted said person with insults only worthy of an Oddball.

I feel dirty, almost filthy. I don’t know what to do, how can I ever look you, my fellow Oddballs in the eyes again without feeling the sting of pain deep down in my soul?

How will I ever be able to go back to my people, will I ever again be able to be a proud part of our Holy Foursome, or am I doomed to feel the shame for the rest of my god forsaken earthly life?

I wish I could say that I will never again do what I have done, but alas I’m afraid that tomorrow I will go back to treating none Oddballs in an Oddball manner.

I will ink our name into my flesh, however I am uncertain as to whether that is penance enough for my crimes.

Name my punishment and I will accept it.

So I've got bruises the size of English kidney pies on the inside of my thighs...

...with the color of purple poop. I can't say that I'm not motherly proud of my contusy beauties, but they hurt whenever I find myself in a situation where I have to cross my legs tightly in order to avoid tartly attention. Not that I dislike the attention. And the pain. I just love to whine, is all.

Yes, I had a rough weekend. Highly orgiastic, but rough and slightly painful.

But that's not why I'm here. Today I came here for the Ape, and for her great and endearing love of leather whips. And for her enabling this blog (which, by the very by, I spanked her into doing). Yeah, that's right, it all comes down to me. Me and my needs. And my bruised thighs, of course.

Anyway... Here's for you, Ape and Oddballs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhDCXXvK0QE

Introductions

There are so many words one could use to describe us, so very many. But then again what’s in a word, will you really understand us by reading the definition of us, would you not much rather want to understand what’s behind that definition. Get to the bottom of the problem, so to speak.

Abctraqt (aka Mama Muscle Beaver, Lolita, Pirate Nun, Latex woman, Daddy). She is our leading void. Has a tendency to fall asleep when intoxicated, and no one, no one can make a leek seem more inappropriate and/or lust filled, than she. When the Gods created Decadence they had Abctraqt in mind.

K-Mart (Tiny, Philosophy Girl, Power Girl, Bubbles, Mama). The Fantasy expert, and our personal favourite sugar junkie. Give her something to obsess about and no one will touch the depths of her knowledge. Every once in a while the Oddballs need logic and that is when they turn to K-Mart, and she has yet to fail them.

Mousse (aka Moosq, MousseQue, Ghetto-Majken, Lord Henry). With always something inappropriate to say she can liven up any gathering, and turn the most absurd and taboo subjects into sweet, sweet comedy. Her obsession of Good vs Evil provides an endless flood of entertainment to be had for the group.

Ape (aka Jolly Ape, Dorian, Rockster, Mistress of Disgust). The socially inept eccentric of the group. Disgust is her game, and an expert at arrogant while drunk. The lapdog (but life partner is more fun) of Mousse. Feels lost and disoriented without someone to lead her, after all she was born a sidekick (she’s the spandex to the Hero’s leather).

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Oddball is the state of mind where nothing is really wrong. Compare it if you wish to Zen, it’s a complete relaxed state where ideas and thoughts are let to roam freely. It’s about the power of a group of twisted individuals minds. Can you live in a society without being a part of it?

Stay updated on this post-post-modern social and psychological experiment in outsidership.