Oddball is the state of mind where nothing is really wrong. Compare it if you wish to Zen, it’s a complete relaxed state where ideas and thoughts are let to roam freely. It’s about the power of a group of twisted individuals' minds. Can you live in a society without being a part of it?
Stay updated on this post-post-modern social and psychological experiment in outsidership.
... I indirectly blame Ape's recurrent, delirious and positively outstanding Cara/Kahlan subtext-posts for my somehow coming across and enjoying this song and video. But seriously. How is one supposed to be able to study when there is so much YouTube filth to surf!?
and maybe I should be despised
I know telling is too much
so maybe i'm not listening
about me, watching, they touch me
people won't talk to me
music doesn't speak to me
I get up, I walk around
and really, I should be calm
it's all so very tidy
there should be room to breathe now
cleaning, arranging, dusting
I've been making such good sweeps
breathing as from running a hundred stairs
I sit down, still restless
And a random youtube post, because I am too tired to do anything else. So so tired. So tired I had a religious experience watching the Voyager intro. Yeah, that's how tired I am. However I do feel like I should update a little. Sorta let people know what I'm up to lately. When I'm not so tired I become religious that is.
Naked. That's what poetry makes me feel. Completely and utterly naked.
I put my words to the screen and suddenly I feel the breeze of self-conciousness sending a shiver down my spine. Goosebumps along my naked arms, legs and mind.
I frequently part with the innermost thoughts of my brain, but when there is no intent. When the words must hold up as their own little island without reason. When they are not part of a journey, but rather a goal in themselves.
264 gallons of human blood on the street
a million electricity bills for Kyrgyz heat
a good portion of passion, I dare say
a little bit of justice, make it before May
for a final touch, the very best
twelve juicy lemons, no zest!
all I asked for was a sugar high
what came out was a very, very sour pie
We are currently experiencing DIKT:APRIL, an event introduced by Ape. Ape claims that this is poetry month and that someone somewhere has encouraged the masses to create a poem a day for this whole month. I have failed to find hard proof of this, but then again, I haven't tried that hard. Even defining the word "proof" would take such a long time that I would eventually have to take a food break, causing me to forget about it all and having to start defining all over again, after food break. So I decided to simply trust the Ape and make it happen. So far, we have created/quoted four poems, which might look bad, seeing as this is the sixth day of April. But if you take into consideration The Oddballs' History of Failed Projects, I'd say it looks almost promising. Let's show ourselves that poetry doesn't have to be good in order to be fun.
Guidelines/wishlist:
Quantity over quality (better one a day than one a week)
Quantity over quotes (better write your own cheap shit than quoting Baudelaire)
splashy, sneering, the first flowers approach
don't look so smug, snow counters, rash
a dandelion slut wouldn't stand a chance
had i not let you near by my own damn will
Are we not oozing wounds to your white perfection?
the flowers reply with their smugness unchanged
you crumble as black dirt unfold in the sun
and we revel, and we tango (oh, how we tango!)
Now snow rolls its eyes and makes the flowers squint
the sun has nothing on me, never
see, i'm its mirror on earth, itself in cool white
and recall it is me who hide the dirt!
you do make for a fine parody, flowers admit
but you will die now, as we tango (oh, how we...)
while really, says snow, YOU have been dead for months
that is one way of looking at it
giggle the flowers, watching snow melt
thinking of all the winters to come
stepmotherly, indulgent thoughts
then, all those springs, all that tango!
She is, in her own way, dispossessed in the moment of acting as its site of transfer for me.
What am I calling on her to be?
And how does she take up that call?
What my call recalls for her will be the site of the countertransference, but about this I cannot know.
Vainly I ask, "Who are you?", and then, more soberly, "What have I become here?"
And she asks those questions of me as well, from her own distance, and in ways I cannot precisely know or hear.
This not-knowing draws upon a prior not-knowing, the not-knowing by which the subject is inaugurated, although that "not-knowing" is repeated and elaborated in the transference
without precisely becoming a site to which I might return.
Looking back at our two creations I can't help feel as if there is something missing to our poetry, besides style and reason. I think we're missing the secret ingredient. While we ponder this I shall leave you with a little something...an ideal perhaps?
As I'm sitting here on my lazy bones day, trying to decide whether to watch yet another episode of Dollhouse or rewatch the Wicked Game documentary, I was suddenly hit by a bolt of realisation. I realised my life is a Family Guy episode.
Utterly frivolous. Strange and indescribable relationships. Quotes and references to such a degree there is a clear lack of comprehensibility and coherency. Unpolitically correct in a major way. Meanwhile being riddled with flashbacks and fictional memories and occupied with characters that can only be described as characters.
Yes, my life is a Family Guy episode. I don't think I mind. A little anti-climactic now with all that spirituality and religion buzzing around claiming all kinds of complexity and depth. Not to mention meaning. Still I don't think I mind. I'm quite comfortable. As a matter of fact I'm actually quite happy.
Today’s question: Is irony just a way of getting away with being stupid? And do ironic representations in popular culture do good or bad? Black Eyed Peas’ music video for Meet Me Halfway is today’s object of analysis. Watch it:
With a title like Meet Me Halfway, one would think that they should put an equally large effort in getting to each other. But no.
To start with, throughout the video, the Man is depicted as several indivduals. The Man is as versatile as he is active. He conquers nature in what feels like countless ways; he rides an elephant (domestication of animals!), he reads maps (literacy!), he goes to space and he uses various tracking devices (modern science and gold-digging!). Clearly, he’s a Man with a plan and he has the know-how and the determination to get where he wants.
Meanwhile, the Woman, one body, one individual, placed in Nature, doesn’t seem to make any effort whatsoever of getting her halfway to the Man. Her job is to lie passive on a tree trunk, surrounded by flowers and magical mist, gently carressing her body while keeping her legs together (she’s holding out!). And when she claims that “I can’t go any further than this” she has successfully managed to crawl on the ground a distance of… nowhere. She is not only placed in nature, she IS nature, wating to be conquered. All he needs is a location, and to get there first. All she needs is to wait.
In conclusion, and since no one else seems to hang around this blog, I guess I should answer my own questions. But I won't. I don't know if I should laugh with them, at them or cry because of the unoriginal/ironic depictions of Man/Woman. No. Instead I shall watch it again and now focus on why the elephant is wearing black and how that is possibly related to chocolate. Hej.
It's Friday evening and the kitchen is currently hosted by a band of brothers, a gang of boys. They're peeling potatoes, and trying to make sense of something I would probably refer to as the matter of homosexuality and hegemonic masculinity:
- That is so gay. One is so obviously gay, looking like that. - No, there’s no such thing as 'looking gay'. You can never tell! Have you not seen Brokeback Mountain!?
Since no one seems to be particularly alive I hereby allow myself to ponder freely upon whatever I feel like. For example, inspired by my dad and Ape’s family: The immorality of mixing meat from different animals in one sole dish.
You should know, that for the Ape family it is something of a challenge to put as many different animal meats in the same dish, and get away with it (something which they don’t always manage). As for my dad, he brought me disgust and inspiration when telling me of an extravagant dish consisting of a large turkey, in which there was a goose, in which there was a chicken, in which there was dove, in which there was a quail. And in the quail layeth an egg. Yeah, an egg in a bird, in a bird, in a bird… Or something along those lines. This is something that the old Romans used to eat. According to my dad.
Like the Janssons, I love food-related challenges. And like some of the more spoilt Romans, I adore gluttony. But there is something absolutely unethical in putting meat from different animals in the same dish.* I say we lose a portion of our humanity for every bacon-enfolded chicken breast we cut into.
Let’s say I was killed for food. I died for you. Then at least make me the star of your meal. I gave my life for your fucking jambalaya, don’t throw in a damn chicken next to me! Or a pork sausage. Or something else dead with a potential soul that isn’t mine. And don’t you dare eat me on weekdays. At least not my good parts. You're just shoving me right into your mouth without really tasting. Have my intestines for a hasty Tuesday tv-dinner, but damn you if you consume my fine buttocks in front of Days of our Lives! See me, see my value! Invite your friends to indulge me. Or better, have them watch you indulge in me. Make a sauce béarnaise to go with my inner thighs or smoke my cheeks with juniper berries. I don’t care exactly how you prepare me, as long as you do it with love and devotion. Think of me, who laid down my life to satisfy you.
One dish, one meat, one life, one soul, one love.
*Some of you out there might consider it absolutely unethical eating animals in the first place. And let’s not forget, we do have a former vegan in our midst (however, these days she’s *only* militant). I too, find it a somewhat weird and questionable custom, killing for food. But it is how I was brought up. The problem is that meat and the animals who bring it to us are way underrated. Cherish the meat, cherish the animals.
I am. But it’s not a particularly glamorous life. Today I deep-fried an enormous amount of food and fed until I felt sick. Then I accidentally fell on my dog, who squealed, but she survived. Then I took a hit at an innocent-looking spruce, pricked my fingers on the deep-frozen needles and left blood marks in the snow. Also, it appears I haven't taken a shower since last Thursday.
Ape is gone and all is darkness. Proof of the darkness was earlier today provided by tiny, who were convinced that the sole reason Spotify was malfunctioning was because Ape had left the country. And me, I've been forced to socialize with people who aren’t Ape. It proved difficult. Yesterday night, an *acquaintance* approached me and, apropos of nothing:
- You damn imperialist swine! - What…? I thought we were friends!? - That’s only on Facebook. - Oh.
Meeting tomorrow, and Lolly advises us all to wear the stripy Rocky mouth t-shirt. While waiting for the magical hour, I advise you all to dress and undress Britney Spears. Don’t you just adooore the mini size eagle top? I wish they would enable us to change the color of her lips, I’d give her some shade of lusciously whorish pink. Or even better, enable Jennifer Connelly; Hey, tiny! *high-five*
Ape puts on perfume and smells like one of those sunshiny, flowery, fairytale spring mornings, where clean isn’t simply a description, but a 4-dimensional cartoon, which you can smell.
Lolly puts on perfume and smells like the oriental mistress, whose comforting touch and libido is woven of silky embraces of musk and oranges and obscure passion.
tiny puts on perfume and smells of inexplicable and unearthly perfection and something supposedly ephemeral, for no matter how much you smell her you can never fully grasp its complexity.
And me, I put on perfume, which as it hits my skin reacts, evolves and smells of something sticky, unbearable and ill-boding. Almost like the way you might detect an assertive-smelling smell, not knowing what it is and wonder whether it smells good or bad before you realize it’s rottening garbage you smell. Or zombies. That’s me using perfume. Any perfume.
Jag tjuvlyssnade på denna ensidiga konversation på jobbet häromdan.
Anonym Sjuksyster:Han ollar den hela tiden! Och det blir ju alltid så jobbigt då.
Tog mig en bra stund innan jag förstått att jag tjuvlyssnat fel och att Doktorn inte alls ollade maskinen, utan nollade den. Men det var mycket underhållande medans det varade.
Som alla andra snöiga dagar då man helst vill stanna inne och inte ha några byxor på sig.
Idag har jag frenetiskt imdb-at och kommit fram till att:
Det är samma skådespelare som spelar Prästen i Emil i Lönneberga och Tengil i Bröderna Lejonhjärta!
Den (typ) bäst filmatiserade (om inte Birk hade spelat över så frenetiskt) Astrid Lindgren-sagan är regisserad av Tage Danielsson.
Mio min Mio är en internationell (med stor rysk influens) produktion med Christian Bale, Christopher Lee och Timothy Bottoms. Dock heter den " The Land of Faraway". Jag måste ha varit alltför ung för att förstå att den var dubbad.
Det är synd och skam att man inte kan få tag på "Jim och Piraterna Blom" på dvd. Eller få tag på den alls. Faktiskt
This blog is dangerously close to being put on ice. A highly defrostable ice-state. But ice, nonetheless. We will hold it wide open during the “put your year in pictures-project” but come January and we’re still experiencing blog post desert this blog will be put on hold. Outspoken abstinence might encourage creativity. In any case, it will be an experiment worth trying.
Until that day, I will keep on living my life as I know it. Lately, I can’t seem to walk anywhere without imagining myself falling. Everything I walk by that looks stumble-worthy; a sidewalk; a rock; a small child, I picture myself tripping over, falling headlong, dropping everything I hold in my hands, leaving my body spread out on the street as an animal shot. People stare and I usually hurt myself badly. By the time I reach the imaginary hospital, I have since long passed the initial obstacle on my way to wherever. And in between, I imagine walking into signs, and tree branches, only to destroy my eyes by ripping out the cornea. My dad, who earlier this year underwent eye surgery, claims that the cornea is one of the most pain sensitive areas on your body.
Other than that, I spend hours each day reading about sexual violence, mostly in the form of rape. Rape in woods, rape at home, rape in history, rape today and rape as an instrument of war. Some days, I take lonely walks in the dark. Funny thing is, I never do my mental falls when it’s dark, which is more or less obvious, since all the obstacles are hidden in darkness and I am busy contemplating sexual abuse.
We like pictures. Shiny pictures! Do you like pictures?
The year of "förpuppning" is coming to an end, and we like sums. Sometimes it is even fun to summarise. Therefore lets each provide a mathematical term to describe the past 12 months of our joint, or not joint life. Or we could just describe our year in a series of 12 more or less pointless, arrogant or plainly plain pictures.
Pressure, but good pressure, like in a steamy jacuzzi with glistening and tanned and flexing and pumping and....yeah, nevermind. In reality this is just a mindless attempt to fit a few more posts into the 2009 archive of this blog. If you feel like this is a worthy cause then upload your 12 pictures describing the past year and lets all look at them and laugh ourselves silly while we engage in a brilliant example of virtual exhibitionism.
- You haven’t talked on Facebook lately, sen Her a message!
- Reconnect with Her!
- Write on Her wall!
- Send Her a message!
- Help make Facebook better for Her.
- Poke Her!
For what feels like several weeks now, Facebook has been placing a small picture of tiny in the right column of the home page. Never anyone else. The picture shows tiny looking at me from below, somewhat hunchback-like, and Facebook continously attaches subtle messages to her picture. The words change from time to time, but the original message still remains. tiny doesn’t fit into the Facebook Dream. For that I love Her.
Nästa vecka har vi en pysselkväll! Den går i bröstens tecken. Mycket bröst eller helt enkelt synlig bh (alternativet är att klä oss i rosa, vilket är B).
Menyn består av: Krustader med gräddfil + liten bröstvårteliknande klick röd rom Potatishalvor placerade med snittytan nedåt. Kycklingbröst Rosa sås Rosa glass i div bröstform till efterrätt, och baknig av bröstkakor kommer att ske fortlöpande under kvällen.
För att slappna av spelar vi däremellan tutt-memo, diskuterar bröstens anatomi samt (kvällens höjdpunkt) övar på att snurra våra Nipple Tassels!
After a hard day’s work in school, I find it highly rewarding listening to this song. Because, contrary to facts, it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something. Bryan Ferry might not be the prettiest puppy in the petshop, but his voice IS smoother than sunshine. And since the sun’s been hiding its ass for over a week now, Roxy Music is my substitute.
On a darker note, Halloween’s coming up and I might’ve promised hosting some kind of black-spandex-red-lips party. Somehow, I find that thought highly depressing right now. But that’s probably just my heavy workload talking. Can anyone be so kind as to inform me of the cancelability of that specific event?
And finally, tiny, remember that time when we were at that awfully trendy club somewhere close to Champs Elysées and that horrible guard insinuated that my awesome dress was too coat-y, simply by asking if it was a coat and if so advised me to hand it in to the wardrobe? And I was like Man, me and my dress are are as coat-y as this place is ghey! Of course I didn’t say that. What does that even mean? No. Instead, I felt strangely exposed, almost naked, when naturally, I should‘ve felt the opposite. But - and here’s my point - apparently this kind of conformist shit happens to other people as well. And I swear, I didn't even wear turtleneck that specific night.
Kungen är ute och jagar älg igen. Detta meddelade Rapport i ett reportage i gårdagens sändning:
[bild på en man i skogen klädd i grönt som röker en cigarr]
Och i gränstrakterna mellan Dalarna och Västmanland har kungen tillsammans med direktörer, grevar, friherrar och politiker jagat älg de senaste två dagarna, och vår monark gick inte lottlös
[bild på en man som lyfter huvudet på en död älg genom att dra den i örat]
- nä ja sköt en liten pinn en pinn-pinn-tjur, en ko, kalv och en pinn-pinn, pinn-tjur, som man säger.
As I think we are all familiarising ourselves with the lovely (or not so lovely) world of Harlequin, I thought it was about time we had a post on it. Or basically I got a little bit bored and googled Harlequin, and quickly found myself on eHarlequin.com.
While enjoying myself immensely as I browsed the site (and found free downloadable copies of their books! - and yes I am totally thinking about downloading the one about fatherhood and twins) I also found my new favourite category of books, Superromance. I kid you not, there is such a genre. It does not include supermen or mutants, but is simply a kind of romance so super it deserves it's own genre. Or to quote the site itself;
"Romance has never felt more real than in our Harlequin Superromance series! More than a romantic relationship, it's mainstream romance with the promise of happy ever after!"
Is it just me or does this description sound incredibly aggressive? Oppressive almost. All those exclamation points!
And seeing how they both cater to the African-American and Hispanic communities I say why not replace the Sheik with the predatory-Butch. As a matter of fact why not read through their extremely helpful writing guidelines and then get cracking.
Var det vi som undrade huruvida det enbart är kvinnor som släpps in på Ladies' Night? Hursomhelst är det tydligen någon därute, närmare bestämt en busschaufför, som också har funderat. I cirka åtta mil funderade han, för att slutligen ta ställning och agera.
Today’s important public announcement concerns our joint gmail account and it comes in three parts, 1) We still have one, 2) it’s still working and 3) Butters and Mariah Carey.
On a brighter note, we sent a fan mail to the people of 3way, the web series. Fortunately, we made it not at all sound like a death threat. Which is talented, coming from us.
This has been sort of a bad day. Why? My king-size, super nice glass frame lost its grip and fell and broke and now my wall looks nude. And if my home is wrecked (although mildly) my soul is too. I feel like throwing myself on the floor, in fetal position, and with my head as a center start spinning on the floor, kicking myself around with the help of my feet. Faster, and faster. In theory, it would look cool and give me much comfort. But I lack the muscles needed for such an exercise. Instead I read up on nationalism, and listen to The National. An unintended combination, I swear. But I have got to say, Benedict Anderson’s theory of the nation as an imagined community goes pretty well with The National’s “Fake Empire”. Once again, my unconscious genius outshines everybody’s shoeshine. But to what good? The below posted video is pretentious. It shares many features with the music video Stewie Griffin made to impress on Joe and Bonnie’s newborn. But as I am as drawn to pretentiousness as flies are to malnourished children I will not refrain from posting it. Because this is how I feel when something falls and breaks. In my home. A Monday afternoon.
Temat denna gång är vad de andra vill att vi ska vara. Du har alltså ingen egen bestämmanderätt över din egen utstyrsel! Intressant? Det är bara förnamnet!
Vad som är tänkt att diskuteras här är följaktligen vilka karaktärer vi önskar se varandra som. Mart är redan bestämd sedan länge, men resten? Shoot baby, shoot!
Plats: Moussies ShagPad 091003 Preliminär tid 18.15.
Kanske är det inte helt oväntat att det är i konserthuset det är konsert, men jag vill att ni verkligen ska förstå budskapet. Jag har ännu inte varit på något event i konserthuset. Inget alls faktiskt, jag har smugit in, åkt rulltrappa och kikat på utsikten. Gratis. Men det var då! Nu blåser den nya tidens vind! Jag tänker betala för en attraktion!
På fredag 25:e september 19.30 är det konsert med Ólafur Arnalds i UKK. (Uppsala Konsert och Kongress. Jag hoppas innerligt att det inte bara jag som tycker det låter som en separatistfalang i en sydamerikansk gerilla). Biljettpris 140 kr.
Sedan vill jag säga att jag förstår varför man kan bli utsatt för våldtäkt när man traskar längs en dåligt upplyst cykelväg i någon av Uppsalas mer perifera centraldelar. Det är inte så att jag var speciellt upphetsad, eller särskilt sugen på att hamna i brottslig konflikt med någon (det vill jag mycket sällan). Men känslan av oövervinnerlighet, tillsammans med övertygelsen om att jag skulle kunna våldta någon, den var påtaglig, när jag powerwalkade där i mörkret. Endorfiner från träning, mina vänner, gör underverk. Och andra saker.
När jag kom hem tände jag ett stearinljus och funderade kring fysisk aktivitet och elitism.
Vem tror du att du är? Vad är det för samhälle du bygger? I jantelagens Sverige skulle ingen jävel skylta med att man går till gymmet och älskar hårt med sig själv i en timme. Du skulle inte skryta över att lägga pengar på att stå och blotta dig i ett spegelrum fyllt med sadomasochistiska tillfredsställningsmaskiner. Du skulle dölja dina armars avsaknad av gäddhäng.
Okej att alla gör det, men gör det diskret. För i helvete.
If you haven't already seen this I most definitely suggest you have a look at it. A man named Jamie Livingston photo documented his life from 1979 to his death in 1997. Each day (with a few exceptions of missing photos) he took a polaroid picture immortalising his memories.
It truly is all kinds of awesome and inspiring, heart-warming and heartbreaking all at the same time. Photo of the Day