One of these days, honey...

This blog is dangerously close to being put on ice. A highly defrostable ice-state. But ice, nonetheless. We will hold it wide open during the “put your year in pictures-project” but come January and we’re still experiencing blog post desert this blog will be put on hold. Outspoken abstinence might encourage creativity. In any case, it will be an experiment worth trying.

Until that day, I will keep on living my life as I know it. Lately, I can’t seem to walk anywhere without imagining myself falling. Everything I walk by that looks stumble-worthy; a sidewalk; a rock; a small child, I picture myself tripping over, falling headlong, dropping everything I hold in my hands, leaving my body spread out on the street as an animal shot. People stare and I usually hurt myself badly. By the time I reach the imaginary hospital, I have since long passed the initial obstacle on my way to wherever. And in between, I imagine walking into signs, and tree branches, only to destroy my eyes by ripping out the cornea. My dad, who earlier this year underwent eye surgery, claims that the cornea is one of the most pain sensitive areas on your body.

Other than that, I spend hours each day reading about sexual violence, mostly in the form of rape. Rape in woods, rape at home, rape in history, rape today and rape as an instrument of war. Some days, I take lonely walks in the dark. Funny thing is, I never do my mental falls when it’s dark, which is more or less obvious, since all the obstacles are hidden in darkness and I am busy contemplating sexual abuse.

Today's music: The New Pornographers