Showing posts with label totally. Show all posts
Showing posts with label totally. Show all posts
2010-04-13
I'll live my next life as a male Bollywood star
And if I'm not able to pull off those moves (1:25, 1:56, 3:33, 3:45 etc.) plan B is to become a dancing Indian condom.
2009-05-30
Jesus "loves" me.
I got a brand new old bike. It’s blue and charming with silvery details. Got it for free from the Jansson’s, I did. They’re good people, thoroughly reliable. If they would run for mandates in the EU, they would definitely get my vote.
I’m thinking of repainting their house, to surprise them, as a thank you. Maybe fuchsia. Maybe not the whole house, as I have neither the time nor the money. Their front door perhaps. Maybe I’ll just decorate the door with stickers. Various unique stickers. And not like that old Subaru we bought years ago that was covered with Jesus-loves-you-stickers, exclusively. No, I would offer mixed messages. On the Jansson door. IF I had the time.
I’m thinking of repainting their house, to surprise them, as a thank you. Maybe fuchsia. Maybe not the whole house, as I have neither the time nor the money. Their front door perhaps. Maybe I’ll just decorate the door with stickers. Various unique stickers. And not like that old Subaru we bought years ago that was covered with Jesus-loves-you-stickers, exclusively. No, I would offer mixed messages. On the Jansson door. IF I had the time.
2009-02-08
Den där veckan när jag fick en burkha på posten.
...and everything kept coming back to religion.
My week began on a rather lovely note. As I went to get the post I had one of those surprises that makes an entire week (or possibly quarter of a year). There it was. A parcel with Afghanistan as a return address. Already I was giddy as an opiated sheep, things only got much much worse as I opened it to reveal a beautifully bright green burkha. Life was wonderful. And the wonders only continued as I put it on. In an instant I was transformed into a highly politically incorrect mixture between Barbalala and Superman. I roamed through our house looking for Lois Lane who had been captured by Talibans disguised as evil sheep. Just as I was to embark on a heroic rescue my sister stepped through the door and my elaborately constructed alternative reality disintegrated into a million little dust particles.
The week continued with suggestive comments, English speaking, more religion in the forms of both Allah and the vengeful sodomite smiter usually referred to as the Almighty Father. Not to mention mishaps at the sperm bank and kick-bike adventures i Kulverten. Then there was also 5 minutes when I considered becoming a nun.
Now I'm standing on the dunes beyond religion looking out over the vast sea of weird human behaviour feeling a strangely acute sense of compassion. Which in turn led me down the internet road to RFSL and apparently I might be doing some volunteering, and if I am I do expect all of you to stop by and support my pamphlet pushing during Uppsala Pride.
My week began on a rather lovely note. As I went to get the post I had one of those surprises that makes an entire week (or possibly quarter of a year). There it was. A parcel with Afghanistan as a return address. Already I was giddy as an opiated sheep, things only got much much worse as I opened it to reveal a beautifully bright green burkha. Life was wonderful. And the wonders only continued as I put it on. In an instant I was transformed into a highly politically incorrect mixture between Barbalala and Superman. I roamed through our house looking for Lois Lane who had been captured by Talibans disguised as evil sheep. Just as I was to embark on a heroic rescue my sister stepped through the door and my elaborately constructed alternative reality disintegrated into a million little dust particles.
The week continued with suggestive comments, English speaking, more religion in the forms of both Allah and the vengeful sodomite smiter usually referred to as the Almighty Father. Not to mention mishaps at the sperm bank and kick-bike adventures i Kulverten. Then there was also 5 minutes when I considered becoming a nun.
Now I'm standing on the dunes beyond religion looking out over the vast sea of weird human behaviour feeling a strangely acute sense of compassion. Which in turn led me down the internet road to RFSL and apparently I might be doing some volunteering, and if I am I do expect all of you to stop by and support my pamphlet pushing during Uppsala Pride.
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