It's dwarfs!

As some of you might be aware of, I do not like short people. It's not hate, not at all. No, it's just a general fright of the people who, for some reason, talk to my belly button instead of my face. I can't explain why. Exactly like I can't explain why I almost fainted when I watched Abctraqt donate blood a couple of years ago. I know it's good, even necessary, yet so goddamn unnatural. Just like midgets.

I don't think I've ever met a midget. But then, I've never donated blood either. So that's not it.

But I've been thinking lately. Yeah, or... the last hour or so. Anyway, I think the world needs more midgets. Seriously, they can do lots of stuff. With their tight little bodies, their even little fingers and their - in all likelihood - great will of showing the world how useful they actually are.

See, I have this antenna on the roof, and there's this sort of grapevine branch that has twisted itself around it and thus disturbs the transmission. Highly annoying. Sure, I could take out the old ladder, climb up there with a pair of scissors and put my life at risk with my heavy and impractical body swaying high up in the air.

OR

I could pay a midget to do the job for me.

Please visit this site if you doubt my theory: http://russiandwarfhamsters.tripod.com/ (Yeah, so I had some problems finding any reliable info on dwarf PEOPLE. This'll do.)